Friday, July 14, 2017
Nope.
I don't have much of an update, but I did receive a profile via email today that I unfortunately turned down pretty quickly. Trying hard to stay on top of updating y'all so I don't leave anyone in the dark too long. Sadly it just didn't feel like the right match either. So, here we go again.... One day I'm going to have an incredible update and it's going to be the best match EVER. :)
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Here we go again...
Well, I had my match meeting with L and J last Thursday. I can't even really find the words to describe how it went. I was really hoping to fall in love with them and be pleasantly surprised by their English. Unfortunately, that's not quite how it went though, as the only English I heard them speak was right before our meeting ended and they said "nice to meet you!". Everything they said was translated from Chinese into English for us and while I think we would get along great if we could communicate, I just don't think this is my match.
To say I struggled big time with this one would be a complete understatement. I thought long and hard and prayed over and over for those 24 hours I was given before I had to make up my mind. I just kept thinking about their story and how badly they longed for this baby. I pictured their sweet faces holding their son for the first time and how excited I would be to have been the one to help them do that. I cried all morning about the decision I had to make because I didn't want to let them down. They seemed so sweet and full of hope... But I also kept picturing how this journey would go if we were unable to have a basic conversation. They planned to come to Texas 4-5 times throughout the pregnancy and would be here for a month after the delivery. That had me THRILLED because we were both on the same page with how much communication we wanted and how we pictured our relationship to grow.... but while all that sounded fantastic, I couldn't get the image of us sitting at a restaurant eating lunch together, only able to communicate via text out of my head. :(
I am so sad to have had the opportunity to meet them face to face and be unable to say, "Yes! Let me help you!" I hate that my heart was so conflicted. I so badly wanted them to be "the ones". But alas, we are back to the drawing board and in search of the perfect match. I have no doubt that L and J will find the perfect surrogate for them, but I have to accept the fact that unfortunately, I am not her.
To say I struggled big time with this one would be a complete understatement. I thought long and hard and prayed over and over for those 24 hours I was given before I had to make up my mind. I just kept thinking about their story and how badly they longed for this baby. I pictured their sweet faces holding their son for the first time and how excited I would be to have been the one to help them do that. I cried all morning about the decision I had to make because I didn't want to let them down. They seemed so sweet and full of hope... But I also kept picturing how this journey would go if we were unable to have a basic conversation. They planned to come to Texas 4-5 times throughout the pregnancy and would be here for a month after the delivery. That had me THRILLED because we were both on the same page with how much communication we wanted and how we pictured our relationship to grow.... but while all that sounded fantastic, I couldn't get the image of us sitting at a restaurant eating lunch together, only able to communicate via text out of my head. :(
I am so sad to have had the opportunity to meet them face to face and be unable to say, "Yes! Let me help you!" I hate that my heart was so conflicted. I so badly wanted them to be "the ones". But alas, we are back to the drawing board and in search of the perfect match. I have no doubt that L and J will find the perfect surrogate for them, but I have to accept the fact that unfortunately, I am not her.
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