So the last 6 days have been rough. Really rough. S and J dissolving our match left me completely heartbroken. I figured I would hear from her over the weekend since the gift I sent her for Mother's Day was delivered Friday afternoon, but nope. I guess she wasn't interested in having any more communication with me. At first I was upset that she couldn't even bother to say 'thank you' but honestly, it's probably better that our last conversation was a pleasant one. Although I have absolutely zero closure, I can at least move forward knowing that the last words we spoke were full of excitement and joy. If we were to speak again, I'm not sure that would be the case. :(
I did get a call from Anna, my case manager at the agency, this afternoon. She's been out sick and unfortunately came back this week to a full blown poop storm. She was just as confused as I was I think. But we talked about everything and I think we are back on track now. She is going to make some adjustments to my case and solicit another profile for me to review next Friday. So.. here we go again! Hopefully whatever IP profile lands in my email next week will be extra dreamy. I think the hardest part of all this has been the fact that I was SO confident in our match, I truly felt like S and J were the reason this never worked out before, so accepting that God has even bigger plans for this journey has been challenging for me this week. Just when you think you know where you're headed, God giggles and sends you in a tail spin! Lol!
Cheers to round #4! Let's hope this one is the winner! :)
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Friday, May 12, 2017
So I got a phone call...
Oye. Where to start this one?
Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a lunch date with my hubby when my phone rang. It was an LA number so I figured it was the agency calling me back about an email I had just sent my case manager. I had a quick question about my travel dates for the transfer and I just assumed she was calling instead of emailing to respond since we hadn't talked in a bit. Wrong. It was actually the match coordinator (who I had never spoken with) calling to let me know that S called the agency and terminated our match. Insert my complete and utter hysteria here.......
I feel so blindsided. S called me early yesterday morning to discuss the reasoning behind a few of the edits I requested with the contract. We talked for about a half hour about all of them and she continued to say things like, "I'm so glad I called, this helps so much!" "We are totally on the same page and in agreement here, we just need to edit the wording so we are both comfortable with it". Technically we aren't supposed to discuss anything contract related, that's what our lawyers are for... but I appreciated the opportunity to talk with her directly because I was able to portray exactly what I was thinking without going through 6 different people to get it to her and hoping the message wasn't twisted in a game of telephone. I really felt like our chat went well and everything was good. I even told Sam on our lunch date about our call and how much better I was feeling because I had been a little worried about a couple of the changes I requested, but on our call she assured me they were perfectly fine! It turns out that the things I wanted to change that I was worried about were actually fine, and the things I thought for SURE were no issue because it was literally only changing the wording to reflect decisions we had already discussed, that were the issue for her. I just wish she would have expressed that to me when we talked about it rather than completely taking me by surprise a few hours later.
To be honest, I have a feeling it may all be a BIG, HUGE miscommunication, but one that there is no coming back from. I don't think it would be possible for us to have a healthy, trusting relationship after the emotional day we had yesterday. I would have been so happy to continue tweaking the wording until both parties were comfortable, meeting in the middle. My thoughts haven't changed from what I depicted in the beginning of all this when we had our match meeting... I just didn't care for the standard wording as it was stated in the contract. For those unaware, there are a lot of things that are discussed at great lengths prior to being matched, then again in the match meeting and again in the contract. ie: abortion/terminating the pregnancy. I have said all along, I am willing to terminate for medical reasons or anything that would affect the quality of life. This was acceptable to my agency and in the match meeting, S and J were in agreement. Well the contract stated that the IPs would have complete and sole discretion over abortion. I wasn't comfortable with that because I've heard horror stories about IPs getting divorced halfway through the pregnancy and deciding that terminating would be best for everyone. That is not something I am on board with so to be extra cautious I requested that the wording be adjusted to reflect medical needs and quality of life. Was the revised wording ideal? Perhaps not, I didn't write it, my lawyer did. Could it have been tweaked again to convey the message better, probably. But instead of having that opportunity, they decided not to move forward with us.
So, with all that being said.. prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you've got, please send it my way. I am completely heartbroken and only holding on by having faith in that God knows what He is doing and He has a perfect plan for me.
Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a lunch date with my hubby when my phone rang. It was an LA number so I figured it was the agency calling me back about an email I had just sent my case manager. I had a quick question about my travel dates for the transfer and I just assumed she was calling instead of emailing to respond since we hadn't talked in a bit. Wrong. It was actually the match coordinator (who I had never spoken with) calling to let me know that S called the agency and terminated our match. Insert my complete and utter hysteria here.......
I feel so blindsided. S called me early yesterday morning to discuss the reasoning behind a few of the edits I requested with the contract. We talked for about a half hour about all of them and she continued to say things like, "I'm so glad I called, this helps so much!" "We are totally on the same page and in agreement here, we just need to edit the wording so we are both comfortable with it". Technically we aren't supposed to discuss anything contract related, that's what our lawyers are for... but I appreciated the opportunity to talk with her directly because I was able to portray exactly what I was thinking without going through 6 different people to get it to her and hoping the message wasn't twisted in a game of telephone. I really felt like our chat went well and everything was good. I even told Sam on our lunch date about our call and how much better I was feeling because I had been a little worried about a couple of the changes I requested, but on our call she assured me they were perfectly fine! It turns out that the things I wanted to change that I was worried about were actually fine, and the things I thought for SURE were no issue because it was literally only changing the wording to reflect decisions we had already discussed, that were the issue for her. I just wish she would have expressed that to me when we talked about it rather than completely taking me by surprise a few hours later.
To be honest, I have a feeling it may all be a BIG, HUGE miscommunication, but one that there is no coming back from. I don't think it would be possible for us to have a healthy, trusting relationship after the emotional day we had yesterday. I would have been so happy to continue tweaking the wording until both parties were comfortable, meeting in the middle. My thoughts haven't changed from what I depicted in the beginning of all this when we had our match meeting... I just didn't care for the standard wording as it was stated in the contract. For those unaware, there are a lot of things that are discussed at great lengths prior to being matched, then again in the match meeting and again in the contract. ie: abortion/terminating the pregnancy. I have said all along, I am willing to terminate for medical reasons or anything that would affect the quality of life. This was acceptable to my agency and in the match meeting, S and J were in agreement. Well the contract stated that the IPs would have complete and sole discretion over abortion. I wasn't comfortable with that because I've heard horror stories about IPs getting divorced halfway through the pregnancy and deciding that terminating would be best for everyone. That is not something I am on board with so to be extra cautious I requested that the wording be adjusted to reflect medical needs and quality of life. Was the revised wording ideal? Perhaps not, I didn't write it, my lawyer did. Could it have been tweaked again to convey the message better, probably. But instead of having that opportunity, they decided not to move forward with us.
So, with all that being said.. prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you've got, please send it my way. I am completely heartbroken and only holding on by having faith in that God knows what He is doing and He has a perfect plan for me.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Legalities... and more!
So, we are still in the contract phase and just dealing with the boring legal side of things... not a whole lot to report, but I figured it would be nice to update those who are interested. It's funny, I actually haven't shared this blog with anyone yet, my husband doesn't even know it has existed for the last five years (lol!), but I can see the views and it appears as though there are a handful of strangers that are keeping up with it. So when I do finally share it, my friends and family will have years to catch up on, but for those I don't know who have already discovered it, they are staying up to date, day by day! haha
Anyway, I received the first draft of the contract last week and spent a couple hours on the phone with my lawyer editing some pieces of it on Friday. She submitted it to S and J's lawyer Friday afternoon and I am just kind of sitting here waiting to hear back about whether or not they accept the changes I requested, or if we have some more editing to do. Not sure how this will play out, but either way I'm confident things are headed in the right direction and this will work out this time. I just feel so good about it, if that makes sense? S text me the other night letting me know how excited she was for this journey, but not only that she is going to have a baby, but that she gets to do it together with ME. Let me just tell you, my heart melted into a puddle, right there, smack dab in the middle of my kitchen while I made dinner. I feel exactly the same. <3
I do have some exciting news to go along with the boring stuff, too! YAY! I heard from my nurse coordinator last night that my repeat antibody blood screening came back perfect, and drumroll........ we officially have a medical schedule, which means we have a transfer date, which means we have a DUE DATE!!! AHH! Okay, so the tentative plan is that I begin birth control tonight (this is to regulate my period so give them the ability to manipulate it to start and stop when they need it to for the transfer schedule. This is also awesome because it will allow me to NOT be on my period the entire week we are at Disney World. Woop woop!), I stop taking it June 11. I have an appt on June 16 for an ultrasound and more blood work. I will begin meds the next day and have monitoring appointments to check progress on June 23 and June 30. Then I will head back to LA on July 5 for an embryo transfer the following day. HOLY MOLY, y'all!!! I am SO dang excited to go make this baby for this sweet, sweet couple.
If everything goes according to plan, there will be a brand new baby entering the world on or before March 24, 2018!!!! In the mean time, I'll just be over here working on a miracle full of love, faith and a little science. :)
Anyway, I received the first draft of the contract last week and spent a couple hours on the phone with my lawyer editing some pieces of it on Friday. She submitted it to S and J's lawyer Friday afternoon and I am just kind of sitting here waiting to hear back about whether or not they accept the changes I requested, or if we have some more editing to do. Not sure how this will play out, but either way I'm confident things are headed in the right direction and this will work out this time. I just feel so good about it, if that makes sense? S text me the other night letting me know how excited she was for this journey, but not only that she is going to have a baby, but that she gets to do it together with ME. Let me just tell you, my heart melted into a puddle, right there, smack dab in the middle of my kitchen while I made dinner. I feel exactly the same. <3
I do have some exciting news to go along with the boring stuff, too! YAY! I heard from my nurse coordinator last night that my repeat antibody blood screening came back perfect, and drumroll........ we officially have a medical schedule, which means we have a transfer date, which means we have a DUE DATE!!! AHH! Okay, so the tentative plan is that I begin birth control tonight (this is to regulate my period so give them the ability to manipulate it to start and stop when they need it to for the transfer schedule. This is also awesome because it will allow me to NOT be on my period the entire week we are at Disney World. Woop woop!), I stop taking it June 11. I have an appt on June 16 for an ultrasound and more blood work. I will begin meds the next day and have monitoring appointments to check progress on June 23 and June 30. Then I will head back to LA on July 5 for an embryo transfer the following day. HOLY MOLY, y'all!!! I am SO dang excited to go make this baby for this sweet, sweet couple.
If everything goes according to plan, there will be a brand new baby entering the world on or before March 24, 2018!!!! In the mean time, I'll just be over here working on a miracle full of love, faith and a little science. :)
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