It's been about a month and a half since I've updated, which is way longer than I had anticipated - sorry! Things have been a little chaotic over here. Since my last post, I have officially matched with an amazing couple from the D.C. area. I have had all of my blood work redone, a home study with a social worker to scope out my family/home AND completed all of my psych evaluations - again. Luckily, most of my medical screenings are still valid and can be used from my last RE (reproductive endocrinologist) so I don't have to do another mock transfer, HSG (hysterosalpingogram - look it up - it ain't fun), pap, etc.
My box of meds showed up last week. To say it's a little intimidating would be a complete understatement. Hundreds of needles. I got my calendar on Monday and as of now, the plan is to start meds on December 18, with a January 22 appt for my embryo transfer. I am SO excited, I wish I could just fast forward through all the meds and be pregnant already. I just can't wait to tell this couple they are finally going to be parents!! It's been a long, heartbreaking journey for them and they are just SO deserving. Makes my heart swell that they are entrusting me with this huge task. :)
I think that's all I've got for now... we are just waiting on legal to clear and contracts to be done and signed. Cross your fingers we can get that done by the 13th so we can stay on track! This is where it all came crashing down last time and I'm just praying for a vastly different outcome. I'll take all the good vibes and mojo y'all have to offer!
It's almost GO TIME- again!
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Monday, October 23, 2017
WOOHOO!
Yay! Okay, so it's been about a month since my last update. Since then, I've signed with a new agency AND had a match meeting that went awesome! I don't have a whole lot to update other than that as I'm still waiting to hear if my old medical screenings and psych evaluations will continue over or if I have to start from ground zero again. It sounds like I may be headed to Portland soon though! Hopefully this is that start of a much less complicated and more enjoyable journey. <3
Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Free agent.
Well, I've been avoiding writing again until I had good news. I was tired of feeling like every time I sat down to give an update, it was sad or upsetting in some way. I just wanted to share GOOD news again. Unfortunately once again, this isn't the time for that. I sent my case manager an email last week asking for an update. The last time I had heard from her was a couple weeks ago when she called to let me know a recent profile I approved (a sweet couple in London), loved my profile but decided to wait it out in hopes of finding someone that had their own surrogacy plan for insurance... which I do not. Bummer, but whatever... I just figured every 'no' was getting me closer to an amazingly perfect 'YES!'. Anyway, I asked her in my email to let me know if I should be giving up and taking this as a sign from the universe or if she felt like there would be a new profile coming my way soon. I never heard back until she called me today...
She called to let me know that my agency has twice as many GCs (gestational carriers) as they do IPs (intended parents) and of the IPs they do have, they are all incredibly picky with what/who they are looking for... which is apparently not me. She said she spoke with the matching team and they let her know they've gone through the list for me twice already. They've reached out to the executives and even asked their doctors for referrals. Nada.
So, as of today I am officially being released from the agency and am a free agent. I'm at a loss for words. This whole process has been SO draining. I've had countless blood draws, been on medications that made my hormones WHACK, traveled back and forth all over the place for medical exams, ultrasounds, psych evaluations, spent hours on the phone completing interviews and match meetings, etc. I'm TIRED. I want to say it will all be worth it but I am absolutely dreading doing it all over again with another agency. Right now I'm just heartbroken. :(
She called to let me know that my agency has twice as many GCs (gestational carriers) as they do IPs (intended parents) and of the IPs they do have, they are all incredibly picky with what/who they are looking for... which is apparently not me. She said she spoke with the matching team and they let her know they've gone through the list for me twice already. They've reached out to the executives and even asked their doctors for referrals. Nada.
So, as of today I am officially being released from the agency and am a free agent. I'm at a loss for words. This whole process has been SO draining. I've had countless blood draws, been on medications that made my hormones WHACK, traveled back and forth all over the place for medical exams, ultrasounds, psych evaluations, spent hours on the phone completing interviews and match meetings, etc. I'm TIRED. I want to say it will all be worth it but I am absolutely dreading doing it all over again with another agency. Right now I'm just heartbroken. :(
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Not cool.
So, after I turned down the most recent profile, I ended up sending my coordinator an email basically just letting her know that I'm getting discouraged. It's not that I'm starting to think this may never work out, but I AM starting to think that they may just be throwing profiles at me and hoping one sticks, rather than looking closely into what I'm looking for and sending me that. There are a million details that go into profile matching, so I totally get that it's not easy. You've got my preferences, theirs, legalities, insurance issues, etc. that all have to match and then you have to hope that both parties actually like the other. It's no easy task and I get that, but at the same time... I start to feel like a real jerk after turning them down, week after week for reasons we have already discussed. Anyway, my coordinator responded and actually CC'd the matching director so she could give me a call to discuss things, which she did.
We talked for a long time last Friday and by the end of the phone call she had sent me a profile to review. I LOVED them. They seemed absolutely perfect and for the first time since April, I was SO hopeful. Today I got a call from my coordinator letting me know that they loved me and my profile, but they declined to move forward with me due to my profession. She said they have "preconceived notions of network marketing that unfortunately they cannot move passed".
Well... cool. Part of me wants to completely rage out because I think that's total BS. I literally get paid to help people fall in love with their bodies and get out of debt. I get the privilege of educating people on plant based products that work to actually IMPROVE their health. I help bring mommies home to their babies. I help parents start savings accounts for their kiddos to go to college one day. I help college students pay off their student loan debt. I help people pay for their cars, trips, classes and more in CASH. I've helped bring DADS home to their families full time and I've helped thousands of people fall in love with their health for the first time in years. I get to do this from the comfort of my home while I hang out with my own family and to be honest I think it's pretty freaking kick ass. The other part of me feels sorry for them. It must really stink to be so narrow minded, so I will just pray. I will pray that nobody picks them apart and decides there's something about them or their line of work, or the way they dress or where they live that determines what they think of them. Because it sucks, and nobody should feel this way. Nobody should be looked at differently and not given a chance just because they are doing what they love.
Clearly they are just NOT the match for me. Back to the drawing board we go... hi ho. hi ho. hi ho.
We talked for a long time last Friday and by the end of the phone call she had sent me a profile to review. I LOVED them. They seemed absolutely perfect and for the first time since April, I was SO hopeful. Today I got a call from my coordinator letting me know that they loved me and my profile, but they declined to move forward with me due to my profession. She said they have "preconceived notions of network marketing that unfortunately they cannot move passed".
Well... cool. Part of me wants to completely rage out because I think that's total BS. I literally get paid to help people fall in love with their bodies and get out of debt. I get the privilege of educating people on plant based products that work to actually IMPROVE their health. I help bring mommies home to their babies. I help parents start savings accounts for their kiddos to go to college one day. I help college students pay off their student loan debt. I help people pay for their cars, trips, classes and more in CASH. I've helped bring DADS home to their families full time and I've helped thousands of people fall in love with their health for the first time in years. I get to do this from the comfort of my home while I hang out with my own family and to be honest I think it's pretty freaking kick ass. The other part of me feels sorry for them. It must really stink to be so narrow minded, so I will just pray. I will pray that nobody picks them apart and decides there's something about them or their line of work, or the way they dress or where they live that determines what they think of them. Because it sucks, and nobody should feel this way. Nobody should be looked at differently and not given a chance just because they are doing what they love.
Clearly they are just NOT the match for me. Back to the drawing board we go... hi ho. hi ho. hi ho.
Friday, July 14, 2017
Nope.
I don't have much of an update, but I did receive a profile via email today that I unfortunately turned down pretty quickly. Trying hard to stay on top of updating y'all so I don't leave anyone in the dark too long. Sadly it just didn't feel like the right match either. So, here we go again.... One day I'm going to have an incredible update and it's going to be the best match EVER. :)
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Here we go again...
Well, I had my match meeting with L and J last Thursday. I can't even really find the words to describe how it went. I was really hoping to fall in love with them and be pleasantly surprised by their English. Unfortunately, that's not quite how it went though, as the only English I heard them speak was right before our meeting ended and they said "nice to meet you!". Everything they said was translated from Chinese into English for us and while I think we would get along great if we could communicate, I just don't think this is my match.
To say I struggled big time with this one would be a complete understatement. I thought long and hard and prayed over and over for those 24 hours I was given before I had to make up my mind. I just kept thinking about their story and how badly they longed for this baby. I pictured their sweet faces holding their son for the first time and how excited I would be to have been the one to help them do that. I cried all morning about the decision I had to make because I didn't want to let them down. They seemed so sweet and full of hope... But I also kept picturing how this journey would go if we were unable to have a basic conversation. They planned to come to Texas 4-5 times throughout the pregnancy and would be here for a month after the delivery. That had me THRILLED because we were both on the same page with how much communication we wanted and how we pictured our relationship to grow.... but while all that sounded fantastic, I couldn't get the image of us sitting at a restaurant eating lunch together, only able to communicate via text out of my head. :(
I am so sad to have had the opportunity to meet them face to face and be unable to say, "Yes! Let me help you!" I hate that my heart was so conflicted. I so badly wanted them to be "the ones". But alas, we are back to the drawing board and in search of the perfect match. I have no doubt that L and J will find the perfect surrogate for them, but I have to accept the fact that unfortunately, I am not her.
To say I struggled big time with this one would be a complete understatement. I thought long and hard and prayed over and over for those 24 hours I was given before I had to make up my mind. I just kept thinking about their story and how badly they longed for this baby. I pictured their sweet faces holding their son for the first time and how excited I would be to have been the one to help them do that. I cried all morning about the decision I had to make because I didn't want to let them down. They seemed so sweet and full of hope... But I also kept picturing how this journey would go if we were unable to have a basic conversation. They planned to come to Texas 4-5 times throughout the pregnancy and would be here for a month after the delivery. That had me THRILLED because we were both on the same page with how much communication we wanted and how we pictured our relationship to grow.... but while all that sounded fantastic, I couldn't get the image of us sitting at a restaurant eating lunch together, only able to communicate via text out of my head. :(
I am so sad to have had the opportunity to meet them face to face and be unable to say, "Yes! Let me help you!" I hate that my heart was so conflicted. I so badly wanted them to be "the ones". But alas, we are back to the drawing board and in search of the perfect match. I have no doubt that L and J will find the perfect surrogate for them, but I have to accept the fact that unfortunately, I am not her.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Another profile... or two.
Two weeks ago I received another profile with a set of Intended Parents. They seemed lovely, but unfortunately not for me. They were a lot older than what I was hoping for and they really wanted their surrogate to agree to eating only organic foods and exercising daily. While I can appreciate the desire for an extra healthy pregnancy, I cannot 100% commit to avoiding Taco Bell if I have a late night pregnancy craving and I am certainly not one to work out on a daily (or even weekly) basis. lol!
I will say it was an incredibly difficult decision to make. While the couple has no idea that I even viewed their profile, I can't help but feel like such a jerk for rejecting them. Like, "I want to help someone build their family and give the gift of life, but ehhhh not you guys". Or at least that's how my heart feels. But at the end of the day, I want this journey to be everything I hoped it could be and part of that includes having a great relationship with the IP's, so if I don't feel like we could potentially connect well, unfortunately I have to keep looking.
Yesterday I received another profile for an international couple. We will call them L and J. They live in China and have been together for 10 years. After many fertility struggles and 2 miscarriages, they have sought out a surrogate. They seem lovely and like such a precious couple and we appear to have very similar ideas of how we expect this journey to go. My only concern at this point is if there will be a potential language barrier issue. My case manager said they speak "basic English" but I'm not sure if that means that can carry a conversation, they just don't use many adjectives... or if it's more of a, "Hello, where is the bathroom?" basic English situation. I requested that my agency forward my profile to them and if they approve, we will do a virtual match meeting and see how it goes. So, fingers crossed - again! I should hear back next week!
I will say it was an incredibly difficult decision to make. While the couple has no idea that I even viewed their profile, I can't help but feel like such a jerk for rejecting them. Like, "I want to help someone build their family and give the gift of life, but ehhhh not you guys". Or at least that's how my heart feels. But at the end of the day, I want this journey to be everything I hoped it could be and part of that includes having a great relationship with the IP's, so if I don't feel like we could potentially connect well, unfortunately I have to keep looking.
Yesterday I received another profile for an international couple. We will call them L and J. They live in China and have been together for 10 years. After many fertility struggles and 2 miscarriages, they have sought out a surrogate. They seem lovely and like such a precious couple and we appear to have very similar ideas of how we expect this journey to go. My only concern at this point is if there will be a potential language barrier issue. My case manager said they speak "basic English" but I'm not sure if that means that can carry a conversation, they just don't use many adjectives... or if it's more of a, "Hello, where is the bathroom?" basic English situation. I requested that my agency forward my profile to them and if they approve, we will do a virtual match meeting and see how it goes. So, fingers crossed - again! I should hear back next week!
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Next Friday!
So the last 6 days have been rough. Really rough. S and J dissolving our match left me completely heartbroken. I figured I would hear from her over the weekend since the gift I sent her for Mother's Day was delivered Friday afternoon, but nope. I guess she wasn't interested in having any more communication with me. At first I was upset that she couldn't even bother to say 'thank you' but honestly, it's probably better that our last conversation was a pleasant one. Although I have absolutely zero closure, I can at least move forward knowing that the last words we spoke were full of excitement and joy. If we were to speak again, I'm not sure that would be the case. :(
I did get a call from Anna, my case manager at the agency, this afternoon. She's been out sick and unfortunately came back this week to a full blown poop storm. She was just as confused as I was I think. But we talked about everything and I think we are back on track now. She is going to make some adjustments to my case and solicit another profile for me to review next Friday. So.. here we go again! Hopefully whatever IP profile lands in my email next week will be extra dreamy. I think the hardest part of all this has been the fact that I was SO confident in our match, I truly felt like S and J were the reason this never worked out before, so accepting that God has even bigger plans for this journey has been challenging for me this week. Just when you think you know where you're headed, God giggles and sends you in a tail spin! Lol!
Cheers to round #4! Let's hope this one is the winner! :)
I did get a call from Anna, my case manager at the agency, this afternoon. She's been out sick and unfortunately came back this week to a full blown poop storm. She was just as confused as I was I think. But we talked about everything and I think we are back on track now. She is going to make some adjustments to my case and solicit another profile for me to review next Friday. So.. here we go again! Hopefully whatever IP profile lands in my email next week will be extra dreamy. I think the hardest part of all this has been the fact that I was SO confident in our match, I truly felt like S and J were the reason this never worked out before, so accepting that God has even bigger plans for this journey has been challenging for me this week. Just when you think you know where you're headed, God giggles and sends you in a tail spin! Lol!
Cheers to round #4! Let's hope this one is the winner! :)
Friday, May 12, 2017
So I got a phone call...
Oye. Where to start this one?
Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a lunch date with my hubby when my phone rang. It was an LA number so I figured it was the agency calling me back about an email I had just sent my case manager. I had a quick question about my travel dates for the transfer and I just assumed she was calling instead of emailing to respond since we hadn't talked in a bit. Wrong. It was actually the match coordinator (who I had never spoken with) calling to let me know that S called the agency and terminated our match. Insert my complete and utter hysteria here.......
I feel so blindsided. S called me early yesterday morning to discuss the reasoning behind a few of the edits I requested with the contract. We talked for about a half hour about all of them and she continued to say things like, "I'm so glad I called, this helps so much!" "We are totally on the same page and in agreement here, we just need to edit the wording so we are both comfortable with it". Technically we aren't supposed to discuss anything contract related, that's what our lawyers are for... but I appreciated the opportunity to talk with her directly because I was able to portray exactly what I was thinking without going through 6 different people to get it to her and hoping the message wasn't twisted in a game of telephone. I really felt like our chat went well and everything was good. I even told Sam on our lunch date about our call and how much better I was feeling because I had been a little worried about a couple of the changes I requested, but on our call she assured me they were perfectly fine! It turns out that the things I wanted to change that I was worried about were actually fine, and the things I thought for SURE were no issue because it was literally only changing the wording to reflect decisions we had already discussed, that were the issue for her. I just wish she would have expressed that to me when we talked about it rather than completely taking me by surprise a few hours later.
To be honest, I have a feeling it may all be a BIG, HUGE miscommunication, but one that there is no coming back from. I don't think it would be possible for us to have a healthy, trusting relationship after the emotional day we had yesterday. I would have been so happy to continue tweaking the wording until both parties were comfortable, meeting in the middle. My thoughts haven't changed from what I depicted in the beginning of all this when we had our match meeting... I just didn't care for the standard wording as it was stated in the contract. For those unaware, there are a lot of things that are discussed at great lengths prior to being matched, then again in the match meeting and again in the contract. ie: abortion/terminating the pregnancy. I have said all along, I am willing to terminate for medical reasons or anything that would affect the quality of life. This was acceptable to my agency and in the match meeting, S and J were in agreement. Well the contract stated that the IPs would have complete and sole discretion over abortion. I wasn't comfortable with that because I've heard horror stories about IPs getting divorced halfway through the pregnancy and deciding that terminating would be best for everyone. That is not something I am on board with so to be extra cautious I requested that the wording be adjusted to reflect medical needs and quality of life. Was the revised wording ideal? Perhaps not, I didn't write it, my lawyer did. Could it have been tweaked again to convey the message better, probably. But instead of having that opportunity, they decided not to move forward with us.
So, with all that being said.. prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you've got, please send it my way. I am completely heartbroken and only holding on by having faith in that God knows what He is doing and He has a perfect plan for me.
Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a lunch date with my hubby when my phone rang. It was an LA number so I figured it was the agency calling me back about an email I had just sent my case manager. I had a quick question about my travel dates for the transfer and I just assumed she was calling instead of emailing to respond since we hadn't talked in a bit. Wrong. It was actually the match coordinator (who I had never spoken with) calling to let me know that S called the agency and terminated our match. Insert my complete and utter hysteria here.......
I feel so blindsided. S called me early yesterday morning to discuss the reasoning behind a few of the edits I requested with the contract. We talked for about a half hour about all of them and she continued to say things like, "I'm so glad I called, this helps so much!" "We are totally on the same page and in agreement here, we just need to edit the wording so we are both comfortable with it". Technically we aren't supposed to discuss anything contract related, that's what our lawyers are for... but I appreciated the opportunity to talk with her directly because I was able to portray exactly what I was thinking without going through 6 different people to get it to her and hoping the message wasn't twisted in a game of telephone. I really felt like our chat went well and everything was good. I even told Sam on our lunch date about our call and how much better I was feeling because I had been a little worried about a couple of the changes I requested, but on our call she assured me they were perfectly fine! It turns out that the things I wanted to change that I was worried about were actually fine, and the things I thought for SURE were no issue because it was literally only changing the wording to reflect decisions we had already discussed, that were the issue for her. I just wish she would have expressed that to me when we talked about it rather than completely taking me by surprise a few hours later.
To be honest, I have a feeling it may all be a BIG, HUGE miscommunication, but one that there is no coming back from. I don't think it would be possible for us to have a healthy, trusting relationship after the emotional day we had yesterday. I would have been so happy to continue tweaking the wording until both parties were comfortable, meeting in the middle. My thoughts haven't changed from what I depicted in the beginning of all this when we had our match meeting... I just didn't care for the standard wording as it was stated in the contract. For those unaware, there are a lot of things that are discussed at great lengths prior to being matched, then again in the match meeting and again in the contract. ie: abortion/terminating the pregnancy. I have said all along, I am willing to terminate for medical reasons or anything that would affect the quality of life. This was acceptable to my agency and in the match meeting, S and J were in agreement. Well the contract stated that the IPs would have complete and sole discretion over abortion. I wasn't comfortable with that because I've heard horror stories about IPs getting divorced halfway through the pregnancy and deciding that terminating would be best for everyone. That is not something I am on board with so to be extra cautious I requested that the wording be adjusted to reflect medical needs and quality of life. Was the revised wording ideal? Perhaps not, I didn't write it, my lawyer did. Could it have been tweaked again to convey the message better, probably. But instead of having that opportunity, they decided not to move forward with us.
So, with all that being said.. prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you've got, please send it my way. I am completely heartbroken and only holding on by having faith in that God knows what He is doing and He has a perfect plan for me.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Legalities... and more!
So, we are still in the contract phase and just dealing with the boring legal side of things... not a whole lot to report, but I figured it would be nice to update those who are interested. It's funny, I actually haven't shared this blog with anyone yet, my husband doesn't even know it has existed for the last five years (lol!), but I can see the views and it appears as though there are a handful of strangers that are keeping up with it. So when I do finally share it, my friends and family will have years to catch up on, but for those I don't know who have already discovered it, they are staying up to date, day by day! haha
Anyway, I received the first draft of the contract last week and spent a couple hours on the phone with my lawyer editing some pieces of it on Friday. She submitted it to S and J's lawyer Friday afternoon and I am just kind of sitting here waiting to hear back about whether or not they accept the changes I requested, or if we have some more editing to do. Not sure how this will play out, but either way I'm confident things are headed in the right direction and this will work out this time. I just feel so good about it, if that makes sense? S text me the other night letting me know how excited she was for this journey, but not only that she is going to have a baby, but that she gets to do it together with ME. Let me just tell you, my heart melted into a puddle, right there, smack dab in the middle of my kitchen while I made dinner. I feel exactly the same. <3
I do have some exciting news to go along with the boring stuff, too! YAY! I heard from my nurse coordinator last night that my repeat antibody blood screening came back perfect, and drumroll........ we officially have a medical schedule, which means we have a transfer date, which means we have a DUE DATE!!! AHH! Okay, so the tentative plan is that I begin birth control tonight (this is to regulate my period so give them the ability to manipulate it to start and stop when they need it to for the transfer schedule. This is also awesome because it will allow me to NOT be on my period the entire week we are at Disney World. Woop woop!), I stop taking it June 11. I have an appt on June 16 for an ultrasound and more blood work. I will begin meds the next day and have monitoring appointments to check progress on June 23 and June 30. Then I will head back to LA on July 5 for an embryo transfer the following day. HOLY MOLY, y'all!!! I am SO dang excited to go make this baby for this sweet, sweet couple.
If everything goes according to plan, there will be a brand new baby entering the world on or before March 24, 2018!!!! In the mean time, I'll just be over here working on a miracle full of love, faith and a little science. :)
Anyway, I received the first draft of the contract last week and spent a couple hours on the phone with my lawyer editing some pieces of it on Friday. She submitted it to S and J's lawyer Friday afternoon and I am just kind of sitting here waiting to hear back about whether or not they accept the changes I requested, or if we have some more editing to do. Not sure how this will play out, but either way I'm confident things are headed in the right direction and this will work out this time. I just feel so good about it, if that makes sense? S text me the other night letting me know how excited she was for this journey, but not only that she is going to have a baby, but that she gets to do it together with ME. Let me just tell you, my heart melted into a puddle, right there, smack dab in the middle of my kitchen while I made dinner. I feel exactly the same. <3
I do have some exciting news to go along with the boring stuff, too! YAY! I heard from my nurse coordinator last night that my repeat antibody blood screening came back perfect, and drumroll........ we officially have a medical schedule, which means we have a transfer date, which means we have a DUE DATE!!! AHH! Okay, so the tentative plan is that I begin birth control tonight (this is to regulate my period so give them the ability to manipulate it to start and stop when they need it to for the transfer schedule. This is also awesome because it will allow me to NOT be on my period the entire week we are at Disney World. Woop woop!), I stop taking it June 11. I have an appt on June 16 for an ultrasound and more blood work. I will begin meds the next day and have monitoring appointments to check progress on June 23 and June 30. Then I will head back to LA on July 5 for an embryo transfer the following day. HOLY MOLY, y'all!!! I am SO dang excited to go make this baby for this sweet, sweet couple.
If everything goes according to plan, there will be a brand new baby entering the world on or before March 24, 2018!!!! In the mean time, I'll just be over here working on a miracle full of love, faith and a little science. :)
Friday, April 21, 2017
Officially official.
Woohoo!! Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my coordinator letting me know that S and J thought the meeting went just as well as I thought it did and they are excited to move forward! So hooray, we are officially matched!!!
When our match meeting ended I was feeling great! I thought it went so well and was thrilled... but then the longer I waited to hear what THEY thought, the less confident I became. I started to over analyze every word I said, replaying our hour long conversation, wondering if they thought I was a total weirdo or if I said anything to offend them, thinking about what could have possibly gone wrong. I emailed my coordinator for an update and didn't hear back. I called and it went to voice mail. I was starting to seriously panic like a maniac, HA! As it turns out, everyone thought the meeting went incredible but S was waiting for the coordinator to email her and the coordinator was waiting for S to email her... so everyone was waiting and nobody was chatting and I was just sitting here stressing for no reason (like usual haha).
So... what next?
I got a call last night from the fertility doctor letting me know that while I received medical clearance and I'm good to proceed, there was something questionable that popped up that they need me to have checked again. Womp womp. More blood work. :( I guess one of the many things they looked at was an antibody screening and it came back positive. They tested the sample to see WHAT antibody was found and it then came back negative. So.. they think it was likely a false positive in the first place, but it looks like we will be testing that again next week to be certain. Other than that, my Vitamin D levels dropped a little bit and I need to start a vitamin D supplement, but that's pretty common. Everything else is all good so now we just wait. We are officially in the legal contract phase so it's just a bunch more paperwork and sitting tight while the lawyers get everything in order for us. We should be ready to go with meds and an embryo transfer in June when we get back from Disney! So crazy how fast this process is moving along this time.
I had a long chat with S last night via text and I'm really enjoying getting to know her better. I really feel like God has His hands all over this journey and meeting S and J was exactly why none of this worked out for me years ago. :) I'm just feeling GOOD.
When our match meeting ended I was feeling great! I thought it went so well and was thrilled... but then the longer I waited to hear what THEY thought, the less confident I became. I started to over analyze every word I said, replaying our hour long conversation, wondering if they thought I was a total weirdo or if I said anything to offend them, thinking about what could have possibly gone wrong. I emailed my coordinator for an update and didn't hear back. I called and it went to voice mail. I was starting to seriously panic like a maniac, HA! As it turns out, everyone thought the meeting went incredible but S was waiting for the coordinator to email her and the coordinator was waiting for S to email her... so everyone was waiting and nobody was chatting and I was just sitting here stressing for no reason (like usual haha).
So... what next?
I got a call last night from the fertility doctor letting me know that while I received medical clearance and I'm good to proceed, there was something questionable that popped up that they need me to have checked again. Womp womp. More blood work. :( I guess one of the many things they looked at was an antibody screening and it came back positive. They tested the sample to see WHAT antibody was found and it then came back negative. So.. they think it was likely a false positive in the first place, but it looks like we will be testing that again next week to be certain. Other than that, my Vitamin D levels dropped a little bit and I need to start a vitamin D supplement, but that's pretty common. Everything else is all good so now we just wait. We are officially in the legal contract phase so it's just a bunch more paperwork and sitting tight while the lawyers get everything in order for us. We should be ready to go with meds and an embryo transfer in June when we get back from Disney! So crazy how fast this process is moving along this time.
I had a long chat with S last night via text and I'm really enjoying getting to know her better. I really feel like God has His hands all over this journey and meeting S and J was exactly why none of this worked out for me years ago. :) I'm just feeling GOOD.
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Match Meeting!
I don't want to jinx it, because I haven't gotten the official word yet (hopefully soon!), but we had our match meeting this morning and I think it went really well! S and J are totally adorable and definitely two people I would LOVE to help make a baby! I feel like for the most part we are on the same page about everything, which is important. S got a little bit emotional when we first started the meeting and of course that made me emotional and I pretty much cried throughout the entire hour long video chat. So, apparently I'm already a bit hormonal. haha I also found out that I am officially cleared medically, so we are a GO, whether it be with S and J if they liked me as much as I liked them, or someone else if they decide to go a different route.
I'll update when I know more, in the mean time - cross your fingers for good news! :)
I'll update when I know more, in the mean time - cross your fingers for good news! :)
Monday, April 10, 2017
Back from LA!
Well that was a quick trip!
Basically, the whole trip was a super fast whirlwind. We landed around 8pm and got picked up from the airport and taken straight to the hotel. We checked in, got settled and made our way to the hotel restaurant for some dinner. It had been a long day of traveling so we pretty much went right to bed, in anticipation of waking up early to get ready for a day full of appointments. Wednesday was quite possibly one of the longest days of all time. We started the day with a 9am appointment at our agency where I had to take the MMPI and then Sam and I both had a lengthy interview with a psychologist. Have you ever taken the MMPI? It's an online test of 567 questions (no joke, that's legit how many there were), used to analyze your personality and see if you'd be a good fit or if you might be a little on the crazy side. Luckily, I was told I passed. Ha! We finished there around 11:30 and uber-ed over to the fertility clinic (in a Tesla! Pretty sweet if you ask my husband lol) for our 1:00 appointment there. Because it was across town, it took a while to get there and left us little time to eat lunch. We ended up walking next door to the clinic and ate at the buffet upstairs in the middle of Whole Foods. haha! The fertility clinic took blood and urine samples from both of us and then the nurse practitioner did a pretty intense medical screening on me that included a pap smear, catheter, balloon full of saline and an ultra sound. I'm not really sure what all they were checking for, but I can tell you it was pretty thorough, haha.
While we were at the doctor, I got a call letting me know that our flight that was supposed to depart for Dallas at 6:00pm had been delayed and wouldn't be leaving until 9:30pm, which meant we wouldn't be home until 3am. We tried to get switched to a different flight but nothing appeared to be working out the way we needed it to, so alas, we sat at the aiport from 3:30 until 9:30. One would think LAX would have more exciting restaurants in their terminals, but no such luck.. we were bored out of our minds. haha Not sure which was worse, the boredom at the airport or waking up the next morning at a normal hour after not getting home from the longest day ever until 4am. I'm yawning again just thinking about it.
Basically, the whole trip was a super fast whirlwind. We landed around 8pm and got picked up from the airport and taken straight to the hotel. We checked in, got settled and made our way to the hotel restaurant for some dinner. It had been a long day of traveling so we pretty much went right to bed, in anticipation of waking up early to get ready for a day full of appointments. Wednesday was quite possibly one of the longest days of all time. We started the day with a 9am appointment at our agency where I had to take the MMPI and then Sam and I both had a lengthy interview with a psychologist. Have you ever taken the MMPI? It's an online test of 567 questions (no joke, that's legit how many there were), used to analyze your personality and see if you'd be a good fit or if you might be a little on the crazy side. Luckily, I was told I passed. Ha! We finished there around 11:30 and uber-ed over to the fertility clinic (in a Tesla! Pretty sweet if you ask my husband lol) for our 1:00 appointment there. Because it was across town, it took a while to get there and left us little time to eat lunch. We ended up walking next door to the clinic and ate at the buffet upstairs in the middle of Whole Foods. haha! The fertility clinic took blood and urine samples from both of us and then the nurse practitioner did a pretty intense medical screening on me that included a pap smear, catheter, balloon full of saline and an ultra sound. I'm not really sure what all they were checking for, but I can tell you it was pretty thorough, haha.
While we were at the doctor, I got a call letting me know that our flight that was supposed to depart for Dallas at 6:00pm had been delayed and wouldn't be leaving until 9:30pm, which meant we wouldn't be home until 3am. We tried to get switched to a different flight but nothing appeared to be working out the way we needed it to, so alas, we sat at the aiport from 3:30 until 9:30. One would think LAX would have more exciting restaurants in their terminals, but no such luck.. we were bored out of our minds. haha Not sure which was worse, the boredom at the airport or waking up the next morning at a normal hour after not getting home from the longest day ever until 4am. I'm yawning again just thinking about it.
Monday, March 27, 2017
LA, here we come!
It's official! Sam and I are headed to Los Angeles next week for our final screenings (more blood work for both of us, medical screenings and a psych evaluation). Eek! On one hand, I am so ready... but on the other, I can't help but be a little nervous for the psychology screening portion of the trip. I mean, I happen to think I'm a pretty sane person but I've also never taken a 2 hour test to prove it. Ha!
I also got a call this morning letting me know that the IPs (We will call them S and J) approved my profile and want to "meet". I'm so excited because like I said in my last post, on paper - this couple is absolutely perfect and everything I am hoping for. Fingers crossed and prayers said that this meeting goes well and we are all comfortable moving forward and our plans match up accordingly. :) I'll keep you posted!
I also got a call this morning letting me know that the IPs (We will call them S and J) approved my profile and want to "meet". I'm so excited because like I said in my last post, on paper - this couple is absolutely perfect and everything I am hoping for. Fingers crossed and prayers said that this meeting goes well and we are all comfortable moving forward and our plans match up accordingly. :) I'll keep you posted!
Monday, March 20, 2017
Lab results and a possible match!?
I'm trying to do a better job updating this blog more regularly so that I don't have to try so hard to remember what happened after my latest post. Also, so that I don't leave you hanging for too long wondering what is going on in this whole process! :) So, here's the latest:
Last week I also received a profile of a couple looking for a surrogate. My agency thought I may be a great match for them so she sent me their profile to review and decide if I wanted to move forward with them. Y'all. This couple is so precious. Like, if I dreamed up the most perfect scenario, this would be it. I don't want to spill too many details and jinx myself, but please say an extra prayer that they like my profile as much as I adored theirs. :)
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Blood, blood and more blood!
Okay, so since my last update, I've made some serious progress in this process! I've had a 2 hour phone consultation/interview, filled out and submitted what feels like an endless amount of paperwork, completed my surrogate profile, had a video conference call with the agency and now today, I'm just getting home from a 2 hour blood draw. Y'all, they are not messing around with the lab work they request in your initial screening. They drew my blood FOUR times this morning (one time didn't work, it was only supposed to be 3), testing for everything from Vitamin D to thyroid levels and also a lovely 2 hour glucose test. It's been a long six years since I've been pregnant, and I must say I had forgotten how awful that orange beverage tastes. Bleh!
Anyway, I don't have a whole lot to report... but hoping blood panels come back normal and I'll be on my way to Los Angeles in 2.5 weeks for my medical and psych evaluations. It's getting really REAL! I'm supposed to hear back from the agency within the next two days with a potential match, cross your fingers it's a winner! I can't wait to figure out who I will be helping make a baby! :) Let's do this!!
Anyway, I don't have a whole lot to report... but hoping blood panels come back normal and I'll be on my way to Los Angeles in 2.5 weeks for my medical and psych evaluations. It's getting really REAL! I'm supposed to hear back from the agency within the next two days with a potential match, cross your fingers it's a winner! I can't wait to figure out who I will be helping make a baby! :) Let's do this!!
Sunday, January 22, 2017
4 years later...
Okay, so I've left you hanging for a while. Oops! So sorry!! I'm going to give you a very brief run down of what happened after my last post... I was devastated to be back to square one and feeling a bit hopeless, which prompted me to seek out a new agency. I truly didn't think it was the agency's fault that things weren't working out, but I thought maybe my luck would change if I sought help elsewhere.
One major problem I was facing was that I was an Arizona resident and not many IPs or agencies are willing to work with an AZ surrogate. The laws are sticky and it's really just not in their best interest.
After much research, I was able to find another agency willing to work with me and we got the ball rolling immediately. My hopes were high and I was excited again. I was moving through the process pretty quickly and we were planning my trip to LA for my medical and psych screenings when everything came to a halt again. :( Every time we agreed on a date and travel arrangements, something would come up on their end. An emergency, a doctor out of town, etc. We tried multiple times to coordinate our schedules and finally I got the feeling that the universe was telling me to wait. So I responded to one final email that I would be putting this process on hold and now here we are again 4 years later.
A lot has changed for our family in the course of four years and I do not regret waiting and putting everything on hold one bit. I'm one of those 'everything happens for a reason' people and even though surrogacy is something I have never stopped thinking about, I don't think the timing was ever right until now. It's been pretty heavy on my heart the last 18 months or so and every time I try to push the thoughts to the back burner, I get another God wink. Whether it be a stranger on a facebook group talking about her surrogate experience, an ad popping up in my newsfeed about a new agency in town, an email from T (that was spam,,, but seriously, haven't heard from him in 4 years), a commercial on the radio about babies after I've said a nice long prayer about this whole idea, a new neighbor announcing her surrogate journey, etc. I feel like everywhere I turn, God is saying NOW. DO IT NOW.
So here I am... I live in Texas now, a very surrogate friendly state and I've submitted a new application that was APPROVED last week (!!!) and I have my first of many screening appointments on the 31st. Let's make a baby!!
One major problem I was facing was that I was an Arizona resident and not many IPs or agencies are willing to work with an AZ surrogate. The laws are sticky and it's really just not in their best interest.
After much research, I was able to find another agency willing to work with me and we got the ball rolling immediately. My hopes were high and I was excited again. I was moving through the process pretty quickly and we were planning my trip to LA for my medical and psych screenings when everything came to a halt again. :( Every time we agreed on a date and travel arrangements, something would come up on their end. An emergency, a doctor out of town, etc. We tried multiple times to coordinate our schedules and finally I got the feeling that the universe was telling me to wait. So I responded to one final email that I would be putting this process on hold and now here we are again 4 years later.
A lot has changed for our family in the course of four years and I do not regret waiting and putting everything on hold one bit. I'm one of those 'everything happens for a reason' people and even though surrogacy is something I have never stopped thinking about, I don't think the timing was ever right until now. It's been pretty heavy on my heart the last 18 months or so and every time I try to push the thoughts to the back burner, I get another God wink. Whether it be a stranger on a facebook group talking about her surrogate experience, an ad popping up in my newsfeed about a new agency in town, an email from T (that was spam,,, but seriously, haven't heard from him in 4 years), a commercial on the radio about babies after I've said a nice long prayer about this whole idea, a new neighbor announcing her surrogate journey, etc. I feel like everywhere I turn, God is saying NOW. DO IT NOW.
So here I am... I live in Texas now, a very surrogate friendly state and I've submitted a new application that was APPROVED last week (!!!) and I have my first of many screening appointments on the 31st. Let's make a baby!!
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