Well.....

Okay, so things didn't exactly go as planned, and therefor we are not transferring a sweet little baby embryo on December 19 like we had hoped. Despite my very best efforts and trying EVERYTHING google suggested in order to induce your period, it ended up coming 9 days late, which put us well passed the ability to transfer before the holidays. Womp Womp. That's okay though, I now have one more holiday to enjoy my champagne and we will plan for a transfer on January 21.

I don't have much else to update - but as usual, I am requesting that whoever happens to be out there reading this, please keep those fingers and toes crossed for us. We would really like for this final med calendar to be the REAL schedule we get to follow. <3

Psych!

Okay, so right after my last post I got an email from my nurse coordinator at the fertility clinic and she said she talked to our RE and they figured out a schedule that would allow us to have a transfer BEFORE the holidays! Say whhhhat?!

As of now, the plan is to do an embryo transfer December 19. Everything is dependent on my period coming exactly when it's expected to and my body doing exactly what it's supposed to do in response to the meds, so keep those fingers crossed! We are all SO EXCITED!!!!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Just got official word that PGS testing came back and we (I say we like they are mine.. they aren't. lol I'm just invested thoroughly at this point) have ELEVEN normal, perfectly transferable embryos!!! WAHOO. Okay, so for those wondering, we will only be transferring one at a time and hopefully the first transfer sticks and we end up with a healthy baby and A can save the other 10 for later down the road when baby is ready for a sibling... But worst case, if we end up needing a second transfer, we don't have to go through all this donor nonsense again ANY time soon!

To say we are excited is a complete understatement. Everything is ready to go. Set to jet. Done deal.... well, sort of. Haha! So, we have to get our timing right with my cycle, and because I JUST had my period, we are in kind of a weird spot and need to wait for my next one, which means we basically lose a month. This wouldn't be all that terrible if that didn't put us right into the holidays when the IVF clinic is closed and on vacation. Y'all, I'm telling you - these hurdles are getting silly. But anyway, everything is ready to go and it looks like we are aiming for a transfer right after New Years. Woohoo for a 2019 baby!

Keep the fingers crossed, because although we appear to be in the clear - you just NEVER know what's to come next around here.

I don't want to jinx it...

Okie doke, a lot has happened in the last two months....

For starters, A found a new donor - a proven one who has successfully donated eggs twice in the past. Woohoo! It took a while to get her medically cleared through A's fertility clinic, get legal contracts signed, get her on meds, etc... but I can excitedly announce that 7 days ago, she had her egg retrieval and 49 follicles were retrieved! Holy heck! Y'all... this is some SERIOUS progress. Her retrieval was on October 24 and we found out the following day that 38 of those 49 successfully fertilized! Considering we were hoping and praying for 20, this is HUGE.

We should know in about a week or so how they all tested and how many quality embryos we have to work with. Keep those fingers crossed for us, we are making some serious progress!

Y'all.. I can't make this stuff up.

So, things were going seemingly well. A got through legal with his donor, all medical screenings and tests were finally completed, she started meds and retrieval day came... and her cycle was canceled. I'm not exactly sure about all the details, but I do know her body did not respond appropriately to the meds and they were unable to retrieve her eggs. The RE actually made the decision that she is no longer a good candidate and A needs to find a new donor.

This journey has been SUCH a dang rollercoaster. Last week I was planning to start medications myself with an anticipated transfer date later this month, and now here we are looking at probably another 4-6 months. I'm heartbroken. A is heartbroken. This whole thing is just a lot. Say a prayer and keep us in your thoughts, it's much appreciated!

Oh snap.. it's been a while!

Well shoot, I have thought about making a new post at least a dozen times since I returned from LA and met baby daddy but apparently just thinking about it, doesn't actually make it happen! So a lot has happened but I'm going to make this short and sweet and cut right to the chase....

• A found a new donor. 
• A's donor completed her med/psych screenings.
• I had a few more blood tests done.
• A and I finished and notarized our legal contracts!!!!! WHAT WHAT! 
• A and donor are now working on finishing up their legal stuff currently. 

Okay, now that you're caught up... here's where we are at now. We are currently waiting on an amendment to our contract so that I can use our own insurance now that Sam has switched jobs and our insurance through McAfee covers surrogacy. This is HUGE because our ACA plan was more expensive and wasn't going to allow me to use the OB or hospital I wanted to be at. So woohoo, it's a total WIN WIN!! Aside from that, I'm just sitting back and relaxing while A and the donor do their thing and the clinic makes the embryos. Once embryos are created I will receive a med calendar and we will be set to jet!

I know I've jinxed it too many times, but things are looking up y'all!!! :) :)

PS: I had a blast in LA with A. We wined, dined and had a spa day! I mean, what could be better?!

Blah.

It's almost as if the universe thinks I love rollercoasters... Like the emotional twists and turns of this crazy, wild ride are exciting for me, or something... Spoiler alert: they aren't fun, not even a little.

I will cut to the chase and say two things:

1.) I'm headed back to LA on Saturday to spend the day with A!! He's flying in from Italy to drop off his sample and I just couldn't stand the thought of not meeting him while he is here, so close! So that's super exciting! We have plans to do dinner on Saturday, and then brunch/spa day on Sunday before I fly back home. Quick trip, but should be fun!!

2.) His donor just canceled her cycle and backed out. So there's that. I am sad for myself because I am SO READY to get a move on it with this whole thing... but I am HEARTBROKEN for A. He is so close to growing his family, but here he is now, faced with another roadblock.

Say a prayer he's able to find a new donor who is just as gung ho as we are to get this party started! <3

Success?!

Holy smokes. Okay, so Vegas was AMAZING!! I was spoiled rotten and thoroughly enjoyed the time I was able to spend with a few other surrogates and the corporate team from my agency. Wow! What an incredible experience. It almost feels like ALL the heartache and bumpy roads throughout the last 6 years were totally worth it to land me on that trip with those people. <3 To say I had a blast and feel refueled is a complete understatement.

Anyway, while I was there I was able to have my match meeting with A (aka Mr. Italy). I'm going to leave out about a million details here and just fast forward to the part where we made it an OFFICIAL MATCH!! :) :) Can you hear the angels singing? Because I'm pretty sure I can!!

Okay - so what's next? Well... Next week I head out to LA to meet with the fertility doctor and my nurse coordinator. Most of my medical screenings from last year are still valid, so it shouldn't be too brutal, but I do have to repeat the mock transfer. Womp womp!

A's donor is in the process of cycling for her egg retrieval so at this point, it looks like A will be headed to LA to help create the embryos the first week (ish) of April. If that's the case, I'm more than prepared to hop back on a plane and head out west again because I am SO STINKING EXCITED to meet him!! We talk daily and I have so enjoyed getting to know him, and seeing as how he's all the way across the world, I absolutely can't miss this opportunity to get together before this journey officially kicks off. Squeeeeeal!

After the embryos are created and tested, I'll start my meds and we will have an official transfer date. Hoping to get this show on the road asap! I'll keep y'all posted but so far so good, we seem to be back on track and headed in the right direction again. Hallelujah!

Viva Las Vegas!

I don't have much to update on, I'm still a single surrogate over here just waiting to find someone I love that needs my help. It's funny (funny probably isn't the right word), but the same week that I got dumped, another surro friend of mine had a failed transfer and was equally as emotional. We chatted for a bit and decided we should probably just head to Vegas. She has never been, and for me.. well, it's my happy place. My home away from home. So, what started as a silly idea via text has actually become kind of a surrogate retreat and there are now 6 of us going, including the owner of our agency! haha So, that should be fun - we are going next weekend and I'm pretty excited. So at least if I had to have another bump in the road, it will have brought me to Vegas. <3

My agency owner (we will call her W) sent me another profile a few weeks ago. This time it was for a single, gay man in Italy. Let me say, this is all the exact opposites of what I was "looking" for. I had been praying for a hetero couple right here in the states, the closer the better. Well, now that we are officially going on 6 years of this journey, I suppose it's time to be a little more open minded. I looked over his profile and he seemed great, so I figured "why not?" and agreed to a match meeting. A match meeting is basically just a skype date to get to know each other, ask questions, see how you both feel on a few important topics, etc. There's no obligation to move forward, it's really just to gauge if you should be moving forward, if that makes sense? 

Anyway, our meeting was scheduled for Monday, but unfortunately it was canceled. It turned out, Italy has some pretty crazy strict laws... like, gay and singles can't even adopt or foster children. Just for example. So, with that said... Texas is also a little goofy. Texas is considered a post birth order state, meaning my name will go on the birth certificate until after the baby is born and the IP(s) request to change it. For me, this is no big deal because I know there's no chance I'm going to try to keep a baby that isn't mine. But for a total stranger to trust me on that, well... I would understand if they were reluctant. There are certainly other places where it's made a bit easier, like California for example. In CA, my name would never even touch the birth certificate because it's a pre birth order state. The IP's name would be on it from the very beginning (as it should, in my opinion). So, all that to say that Mr. Italy needed to chat with a Texas attorney to make sure he understood the process and how it would work in conjunction to the silly Italian laws. W wanted to make sure that he was totally comfortable with the process and working with a TX surrogate before she let us communicate and potentially fall in love. So, for now... I'm just waiting to hear back on how that goes. 

Go ahead and continue sending those positive vibes. Still need them!! XO

Well...

It wouldn't be my journey if things continued to go smoothly, now would it? :(

So, the last time I updated, I had a med calendar, a box of intimidating needles and a super excited couple to help. Unfortunately, it all came crashing down over the last week or so. Now I'm left with just the box of drugs (that I still need to figure out what to do with...). I'll rewind a bit since it's been a while since I've given many details here.

So, I matched with an incredible couple almost immediately after switching agencies. I was THRILLED, they were ecstatic, everything was going smoothly. My new agency doesn't allow one on one contact between the GC (gestational carrier - me) and the IPs (intended parents) until after all legal documents have been signed. As much as I kind of hate this, I also totally understand the reason behind it after what happened with my last match. I still believe that had we left all the legal talk to the lawyers, we may have had a very different outcome with that journey. But anyway, all that to say I haven't spoken directly to S since our initial match meeting. We did send a few texts using our agency owner as the middle man but it was never anything major. Usually just "hey, tell S I can't wait to get through this legal stuff and onto the fun part!" or wishing each other happy holidays, etc. We hadn't really had a chance to bond and create a real relationship yet.

We were on a pretty tight schedule with legal if we were going to stick to our initial med calendar, which had me beginning injectibles on December 18. On the morning of the 18th, I got a call asking if I would still be willing to sign the contract that day if they could get it to me prior to my first shot. I felt like this was pretty unreasonable as I hadn't even seen an initial draft of the contract yet. I needed time to read and review it, discuss with my lawyer, ask questions if needed, request any changes necessary, etc. It didn't seem fair to expect me to complete all that within a couple hours, so I declined. The IPs were upset because they didn't want to have to push back the transfer date, but they understood where I was coming from.

Well, I ended up not even receiving the first draft copy until 5 days later and it was a full blown MESS. Not only were there several changes I knew I wanted to request (for example - it said I couldn't eat queso for the entire time of the agreement... not cool), but it was also full of spelling, grammar and formatting errors. Total mess. So, I went over it with my lawyer and we got it back to them within 48 hours, so that they would have it before Christmas. We had a new plan to start meds Jan 1 and transfer Feb 9, so time was still a factor here. My attorney heard back that they had some confusion over how my income worked so they were requesting a tax summary of some kind to help them better understand. This makes sense because I am not paid hourly or even salary, so I happily obliged and sent them my 2016 1099 AND my monthly payouts for every month of 2017. This provided them with 2 full years of income so that they could get a better understanding of how I was paid when it came to lost wages in case I ever ended up on bed rest. They reviewed the info and then sent my attorney an email stating that it appeared my 1099 could have been self generated and therefor is not sufficient proof of my actual earned income and that they needed to see my 2016 personal AND business taxes. My attorney asked me how I felt about that and I told her I felt like it was going a little too far, especially since lost wages probably won't even end up being a factor because I can do 95% of my job from my bed and still be paid the same. I was also totally offended by the suggestion I could have been falsifying the documents. That's crazy talk. She agreed it felt invasive and let them know I wouldn't be sending the info.

Well... apparently they didn't like that. Their attorney got a little demanding that it was necessary and I (and my attorney) continued to disagree. I ended up reaching out to the agency owner in hopes of her help, and she emailed the IPs. I'm not sure what came of that, but I was notified yesterday that my match is officially no longer a match. I'm not sure if the IPs decided my lack of taxes were a deal breaker or if they left the agency entirely, or...?? All I know is God must have one hell of an amazing couple picked out for me to help, because this is ride is sure bumpy! :(

Send me whatever happy thoughts you have, I'm losing steam over here.