It wouldn't be my journey if things continued to go smoothly, now would it? :(
So, the last time I updated, I had a med calendar, a box of intimidating needles and a super excited couple to help. Unfortunately, it all came crashing down over the last week or so. Now I'm left with just the box of drugs (that I still need to figure out what to do with...). I'll rewind a bit since it's been a while since I've given many details here.
So, I matched with an incredible couple almost immediately after switching agencies. I was THRILLED, they were ecstatic, everything was going smoothly. My new agency doesn't allow one on one contact between the GC (gestational carrier - me) and the IPs (intended parents) until after all legal documents have been signed. As much as I kind of hate this, I also totally understand the reason behind it after what happened with my last match. I still believe that had we left all the legal talk to the lawyers, we may have had a very different outcome with that journey. But anyway, all that to say I haven't spoken directly to S since our initial match meeting. We did send a few texts using our agency owner as the middle man but it was never anything major. Usually just "hey, tell S I can't wait to get through this legal stuff and onto the fun part!" or wishing each other happy holidays, etc. We hadn't really had a chance to bond and create a real relationship yet.
We were on a pretty tight schedule with legal if we were going to stick to our initial med calendar, which had me beginning injectibles on December 18. On the morning of the 18th, I got a call asking if I would still be willing to sign the contract that day if they could get it to me prior to my first shot. I felt like this was pretty unreasonable as I hadn't even seen an initial draft of the contract yet. I needed time to read and review it, discuss with my lawyer, ask questions if needed, request any changes necessary, etc. It didn't seem fair to expect me to complete all that within a couple hours, so I declined. The IPs were upset because they didn't want to have to push back the transfer date, but they understood where I was coming from.
Well, I ended up not even receiving the first draft copy until 5 days later and it was a full blown MESS. Not only were there several changes I knew I wanted to request (for example - it said I couldn't eat queso for the entire time of the agreement... not cool), but it was also full of spelling, grammar and formatting errors. Total mess. So, I went over it with my lawyer and we got it back to them within 48 hours, so that they would have it before Christmas. We had a new plan to start meds Jan 1 and transfer Feb 9, so time was still a factor here. My attorney heard back that they had some confusion over how my income worked so they were requesting a tax summary of some kind to help them better understand. This makes sense because I am not paid hourly or even salary, so I happily obliged and sent them my 2016 1099 AND my monthly payouts for every month of 2017. This provided them with 2 full years of income so that they could get a better understanding of how I was paid when it came to lost wages in case I ever ended up on bed rest. They reviewed the info and then sent my attorney an email stating that it appeared my 1099 could have been self generated and therefor is not sufficient proof of my actual earned income and that they needed to see my 2016 personal AND business taxes. My attorney asked me how I felt about that and I told her I felt like it was going a little too far, especially since lost wages probably won't even end up being a factor because I can do 95% of my job from my bed and still be paid the same. I was also totally offended by the suggestion I could have been falsifying the documents. That's crazy talk. She agreed it felt invasive and let them know I wouldn't be sending the info.
Well... apparently they didn't like that. Their attorney got a little demanding that it was necessary and I (and my attorney) continued to disagree. I ended up reaching out to the agency owner in hopes of her help, and she emailed the IPs. I'm not sure what came of that, but I was notified yesterday that my match is officially no longer a match. I'm not sure if the IPs decided my lack of taxes were a deal breaker or if they left the agency entirely, or...?? All I know is God must have one hell of an amazing couple picked out for me to help, because this is ride is sure bumpy! :(
Send me whatever happy thoughts you have, I'm losing steam over here.
