Well, I've been avoiding writing again until I had good news. I was tired of feeling like every time I sat down to give an update, it was sad or upsetting in some way. I just wanted to share GOOD news again. Unfortunately once again, this isn't the time for that. I sent my case manager an email last week asking for an update. The last time I had heard from her was a couple weeks ago when she called to let me know a recent profile I approved (a sweet couple in London), loved my profile but decided to wait it out in hopes of finding someone that had their own surrogacy plan for insurance... which I do not. Bummer, but whatever... I just figured every 'no' was getting me closer to an amazingly perfect 'YES!'. Anyway, I asked her in my email to let me know if I should be giving up and taking this as a sign from the universe or if she felt like there would be a new profile coming my way soon. I never heard back until she called me today...
She called to let me know that my agency has twice as many GCs (gestational carriers) as they do IPs (intended parents) and of the IPs they do have, they are all incredibly picky with what/who they are looking for... which is apparently not me. She said she spoke with the matching team and they let her know they've gone through the list for me twice already. They've reached out to the executives and even asked their doctors for referrals. Nada.
So, as of today I am officially being released from the agency and am a free agent. I'm at a loss for words. This whole process has been SO draining. I've had countless blood draws, been on medications that made my hormones WHACK, traveled back and forth all over the place for medical exams, ultrasounds, psych evaluations, spent hours on the phone completing interviews and match meetings, etc. I'm TIRED. I want to say it will all be worth it but I am absolutely dreading doing it all over again with another agency. Right now I'm just heartbroken. :(
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