Oye. Where to start this one?
Yesterday afternoon I was on my way home from a lunch date with my hubby when my phone rang. It was an LA number so I figured it was the agency calling me back about an email I had just sent my case manager. I had a quick question about my travel dates for the transfer and I just assumed she was calling instead of emailing to respond since we hadn't talked in a bit. Wrong. It was actually the match coordinator (who I had never spoken with) calling to let me know that S called the agency and terminated our match. Insert my complete and utter hysteria here.......
I feel so blindsided. S called me early yesterday morning to discuss the reasoning behind a few of the edits I requested with the contract. We talked for about a half hour about all of them and she continued to say things like, "I'm so glad I called, this helps so much!" "We are totally on the same page and in agreement here, we just need to edit the wording so we are both comfortable with it". Technically we aren't supposed to discuss anything contract related, that's what our lawyers are for... but I appreciated the opportunity to talk with her directly because I was able to portray exactly what I was thinking without going through 6 different people to get it to her and hoping the message wasn't twisted in a game of telephone. I really felt like our chat went well and everything was good. I even told Sam on our lunch date about our call and how much better I was feeling because I had been a little worried about a couple of the changes I requested, but on our call she assured me they were perfectly fine! It turns out that the things I wanted to change that I was worried about were actually fine, and the things I thought for SURE were no issue because it was literally only changing the wording to reflect decisions we had already discussed, that were the issue for her. I just wish she would have expressed that to me when we talked about it rather than completely taking me by surprise a few hours later.
To be honest, I have a feeling it may all be a BIG, HUGE miscommunication, but one that there is no coming back from. I don't think it would be possible for us to have a healthy, trusting relationship after the emotional day we had yesterday. I would have been so happy to continue tweaking the wording until both parties were comfortable, meeting in the middle. My thoughts haven't changed from what I depicted in the beginning of all this when we had our match meeting... I just didn't care for the standard wording as it was stated in the contract. For those unaware, there are a lot of things that are discussed at great lengths prior to being matched, then again in the match meeting and again in the contract. ie: abortion/terminating the pregnancy. I have said all along, I am willing to terminate for medical reasons or anything that would affect the quality of life. This was acceptable to my agency and in the match meeting, S and J were in agreement. Well the contract stated that the IPs would have complete and sole discretion over abortion. I wasn't comfortable with that because I've heard horror stories about IPs getting divorced halfway through the pregnancy and deciding that terminating would be best for everyone. That is not something I am on board with so to be extra cautious I requested that the wording be adjusted to reflect medical needs and quality of life. Was the revised wording ideal? Perhaps not, I didn't write it, my lawyer did. Could it have been tweaked again to convey the message better, probably. But instead of having that opportunity, they decided not to move forward with us.
So, with all that being said.. prayers, positive thoughts, good juju, whatever you've got, please send it my way. I am completely heartbroken and only holding on by having faith in that God knows what He is doing and He has a perfect plan for me.
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